Transformers Parodies
by DecepticonSoundwave
Summary: Parodies about the Autobots and Decepticons. I love these brilliant characters. Please enjoy and review!
1. Chapter 1

1. Bee Gone

One day, at the Decepticons base, Megatron was busy devising his latest scheme against his sworn enemies, the sight-for-sore-eyed Autobots. After about an hour of plotting, he was fed up for his chair that was supposed to befit his mightiness wasn't very comfortable and that blasted Starscream had done nothing about it for the past two weeks.

The Leader of the Decepticons was imagining suitable methods of punishment for his incompetent second-in-command when he was interrupted by an annoying sound. He sat up and frowned. The sound was suddenly gone but he was certain he had heard it.

'Starscream…Starscream!' Megatron called out.

'Yes, what is it?' Starscream entered the room. 'What do you want, you old…I mean, wise and mighty leader?'

Megatron gave a grunt. 'Tell me if you hear anything.'

At first Starscream looked confused. But then, he listened.

'Well?' Megatron prompted impatiently.

'Yes, I hear something…your voice!'

'Besides that, you idiot!' Megatron raised a clenched fist.

'The sound of my null ray ready to paralyze you…' Starscream mumbled.

'What was that?'

'Oh, I was just saying that the sound of your voice makes the universe tremble, great Megatron…'

'Heh heh, of course it does,' the Decepticon leader was gloating when something black flew to his face. 'Bah!' He beat at it and it buzzed off. 'It's a blasted bee! That was the sound I heard. Get it, Starscream!'

Starscream fired and missed. The bee merely continued to fly happily. He fired again and again but failed to hit the small, constantly moving target.

'Don't fire, you fool! Are you trying to bring down the whole base?' Megatron demanded. 'Must I teach you everything? The bee is but a tiny, inferior insect, one of many diminutive life-forms here on Earth. Squish it with your hands!'

Starscream went after the bee, trying to catch it futilely but the small insect easily had the upper hand over the big robot. Megatron sighed heavily. 'I ought to squish YOU with my hands, Starscream. Quit wasting time and destroy the bee!'

Starscream grumbled under his breath. He stopped to rest, trying to catch his breath as the bee buzzed up and down and all around him. 'I'm tired. Can I go now? I think this room is making me catastrophic…wait, that wasn't right, I mean, claustrophobic.'

Suddenly, the bee buzzed out of sight.

'It's getting away!' Megatron exclaimed. 'Must I do everything around here? Go after it, Starscream!'

The Decepticon second-in-command gave chase after the insect and crashed into Skywarp in the hallway. 'Get it! Get it!' He said as he shook Skywarp by the shoulders, rattling him.

'Huh? What in the name of the Allspark are you talking about?' Skywarp was confused.

'It's a bee. It's inside the base. Lord Megatron demands it to be destroyed!' Starscream said.

'Wow, how did a bee infiltrate our base? I mean, we're underwater,' Skywarp said.

There was a long silence as they stared at each other. Then Starscream narrowed his eyes. 'Don't ever ask me that again.'

'What's going on here?' Thundercracker wondered.

'Bee!' Starscream said, exasperated.

'Be what?' Thundercracker frowned, utterly confused.

'Not what, where…it's gone somewhere,' Starscream replied.

'Who's gone somewhere?'

'Bee, you nincompoop.'

'Be what?' Thundercracker threw up his hands.

'God, you are such an idiot,' Starscream said.

'Did I hear you say your name, Starscream?' Megatron sneered as he came up to them. 'Where is the bee?'

'It's gone, Megatron,' Starscream said.

'You fail me yet again, Starscream. Find it! I won't have the likes of a pathetic insect having the run of MY place.'

'But my Lord Megatron, don't we have more important things to do, like destroying Optimus Prime and the Autobots? Why waste our time and energon on a little bee??'

'You think you are wise, Starscream, but you are not. Imagine the ridicule that would befall us if others know that the Decepticons can't even get rid of a common bee. No, Starscream. I shall have to do this by myself,' Megatron clenched a fist. 'Now find that flying pest right now…!'

The Decepticon leader had just finished speaking when the bee buzzed in and circled his head. 'Argh!' Frustrated, Megatron fired his fusion cannon just as Starscream leapt out of the way.

'Megatron, Megatron, you almost killed me!' he gasped.

'Oh, Starscream, let us try to be civil and not make a big deal out of nothing.'

'Nothing?!' Starscream said in disbelief. 'Why you over-glorified piece of-'

'Look out!' Thundercracker warned and smacked Starscream on the face.

'What do you think you're doing?' Starscream demanded.

'I was trying to get the bee but it flew away. Oh hello, here it is…' Thundercracker swiped at Megatron's fusion cannon, slapping his arm and causing it to hit himself.

'Thundercracker, you blind fool, look at where you're hitting!' Megatron chided. But Thundercracker wasn't really listening to him.

'Ah, over here!' And he swiped Skywarp's leg, causing him to fall. 'No…no, it's gone again. Wait, it's here!' He pushed past Starscream who protested angrily. 'Nope…there! There! Hold everything…aha, it's right next to you again, Starscream, Now it's on the wall…on the floor…on the microwave…!'

Frustrated, Megatron hit Thundercracker hard. He fell and became quiet. 'Ah…finally some peace…'

'I still think we're wasting precious time here,' Starscream said with his shoulders slumped. 'It's only a stupid bee.'

'You'll be more stupid than the wee bee if you can't even catch it, Starscream,' Megatron frowned.

'Hehe, you said wee bee, Megatron. You made a rhyme,' Skywarp grinned.

'Shut up!' Megatron ordered. 'Argh, I am surrounded by more fools than I can count!'

'But there's only me and Starscream,' Skywarp said very thoughtfully. 'That makes two of us. It'll be three if you count yourself.'

'Be quiet, Skywarp before I dispose of you and turn you into a hair dryer,' Megatron said.

'Is something wrong, Lord Megatron?' Soundwave wondered as he came up to his fellow Decepticons. Then he stopped. 'What is Thundercracker doing on the floor?'

'Who…?' Megatron asked.

'Never mind, my Lord,' Soundwave batted a hand.

'We're looking for a pesky bee, Soundwave. It's really irritating,' Megatron complained.

'Hey, I have an idea. How about using Laserbeak to find the bee?' Starscream suddenly had a brilliant thought.

'And you've finally realized you've got a brain, Starscream,' Megatron said. 'Soundwave, release Laserbeak,'

Soundwave ejected his minion from his chest and the flying bird-like robot came to rest on his arm. 'Laserbeak, operation: find the intruder bee.'

His minion remained where it was, not responding to the command. 'What's wrong now?' Megatron asked.

'Laserbeak wishes to know if there will be any reward for him upon completion of the task,' Soundwave said.

'Oh, what does a stupid bird eat anyway?'

'He wants pumpkin pie,' Soundwave said. 'Specific identity: a type of questionable edible substance here on Earth but Laserbeak has seen it on the box humans called the TV once. A fat woman was making the recipe.'

'TV is very, very bad,' Starscream said.

'If Laserbeak succeeds, he shall be rewarded,' Megatron agreed.

'You dumb Decepticon, why are you promising the bird a pumpkin pie anyway?' Starscream frowned. 'First it's a bee, then some tin can of a Thundercracker got thrown to the floor and now a bird is asking for pumpkin pie! What is wrong with you?'

'No one ever tells me what to do, Starscream and no one most certainly calls me dumb!' Megatron said. 'I ought to send you floating into the oblivion of space where you'll be forgotten and I shall very much hope that you get sucked into a black hole and shrink to the size of an atom whereupon I'll take great pleasure in squishing you painfully.'

'Well, I hope your head grows in your sleep and then I'll pop it like a balloon, Pop goes Megatron!' Starscream laughed.

'The only pop you'll ever hear is the sound of my fusion cannon. Take that!' Megatron fired and Starscream quickly ducked and fired back. Chaos and confusion ensued suddenly; the Decepticon leader trying to strangle his annoying second-in-command, Skywarp wanting to join in but not sure whose side he should take and finally going for tic-tac-toe to decide, Starscream trying to make Megatron's helmet less shiny by scratching it, Thundercracker waking up only to be hit by Megatron's fusion cannon again and becoming unconscious and Soundwave wondering what pumpkin pie tasted like.

Just then, the bee flew in, buzzing along and Laserbeak, with one swift flight, went after it and gobbled it up. The chaos suddenly died and the Decepticons froze and stared at Laserbeak. The small flying robot merely flew to Soundwave's shoulder and gave a cry of victory.

A few astro-seconds later, Megatron, Soundwave and the Seekers comprising of Starscream, Skywarp and a now fully conscious Thundercracker, were in a supermarket, amidst other curious human shoppers.

'See? This is what happens when you go around promising pumpkin pie as a reward,' Starscream grumbled. 'We have to do earth shopping for ingredients!'

'Oh, stop shouting, Starscream, I didn't think that Laserbeak would be so competent and besides, let's not forget who made that ridiculous suggestion in the first place,' Megatron said before scowling. 'Blasted bird wants ME to make the pie! Stick around, Seekers. I may need a target to shoot at.'

'Are any of these things even edible?' Skywarp waved the shopping list. 'How did you get this, Soundwave?'

'The world wide web had all kinds of information, even the ones that are totally useless,' Soundwave explained.

'Wow, that makes perfect sense,' Thundercracker said, impressed.

'Argh, so has anyone found the pumpkin yet?' Starscream was impatient.

'Here is a picture of it,' Soundwave offered helpfully.

The other Decepticons came closer to look.

'It kind of looks like your head, Megatron,' Starscream said after a while.

'Oh, shut up, Starscream,' Megatron said and clobbered him.

~END~

9


	2. Chapter 2

2. The Great Bumblebee

**~Bumblebee may be a very small Autobot but he has a big heart. ~**

One glorious morning, Bumblebee was attracted by a sudden gathering of Prowl and Ironhide with Optimus Prime. Curious, he joined in, just in time to hear about Decepticons stealing power from a power plant in a nearby forest region.

'Prowl, Ironhide, I want the two of you to get down there according to the coordinates I've given you and stop those Decepticons,' Optimus Prime said.

'You don't have to tell us twice, Prime,' Prowl showed a thumbs up.

'Oh, oh, can I go too?' Bumblebee waved a hand.

Optimus started to look around. 'Who said that?'

'I'm down here, Optimus,' Bumblebee said.

Optimus Prime looked down and nodded. 'Oh, it's you, Bumblebee. I didn't see you there for a second.'

'It's ok, Optimus. It's not as bad as the nightmare I had,' Bumblebee recalled.

'And what was that?'

'You stepped on me,' Bumblebee grinned.

'Oh…' Prime said. 'I don't think you should go, Bumblebee. Prowl and Ironhide can handle the task.'

'I can handle it,' Bumblebee flexed an arm. 'You stepped on me and I survived. See? I'm small but tough, Optimus.'

'I never really stepped on you, old friend. It was a dream,' Optimus corrected.

'But it felt so real,' Bumblebee widened his eyes. 'My transistors were sore for days and Ratchet was as grumpy as he'll ever be. Yup, it's a sign of aging.'

Prowl and Ironhide laughed softly and Optimus cleared his throat. Before Bumblebee could say how old _he_ was, he quickly spoke. 'All right, Bumblebee. You have my permission to go but stay close and alert always.'

'Okay,' Bumblebee agreed happily.

Soon after, he had transformed and was rolling out with Prowl and Ironhide. They travelled for some distance and finally stopped at the edge of the forest. Just beyond some trees, they could see the power plant.

'I can see Starscream and Thundercracker,' Prowl reported at once.

'I can see some humans. They are not exactly safe,' Ironhide grunted as his cannons glowed.

'Hey, look guys, I can see a squirrel,' Bumblebee said as the furry animal jumped onto his leg curiously.

'Come on, Bumblebee,' Prowl said. 'We're moving in.'

'No, I think Bumblebee should stay here,' Ironhide said. 'If the Decepticons capture him, we'll be asking for more trouble.'

'He'll be fine,' Prowl waved a hand. 'He's tough.'

'He's very short,' Ironhide narrowed his eyes.

'And small,' Prowl said. 'And bright yellow…so what's your point?'

Ironhide frowned. 'I forgot…but I would feel better if you stay here, Bumblebee.'

'I want to come too. This squirrel can vouch for it,' Bumblebee said.

'I don't mean to be rude but…WHAT does a nut-cracking squirrel have to do about whether you should follow us or not?' Ironhide threw up his hands.

'He's cute and I think he likes me,' Bumblebee said.

Ironhide sighed heavily. 'Maybe it's because you look like a tree…'

'Huh? But I'm not green like Hound or Springer,' Bumblebee wondered.

'Then it means that you have a colour-blind, nut-cracking squirrel in your hand. What's the matter with you?' Ironhide asked.

'Autobots! We see you!' Starscream announced aloud and cackled as he started to blast his weapon.

Prowl leapt aside nimbly behind a tree as Ironhide shielded Bumblebee from the attack.

'Wow, Starscream's voice is still really annoying to me,' Prowl remarked as he shot back at the Decepticons.

'Maybe his vocal processors could be Ratchet's next big challenge,' Ironhide said dryly. 'Go and find a safe spot, Bumblebee! Prowl and I will try to close in.'

Not intending to argue in the middle of a fight, Bumblebee obediently found a spot away from the chaos. Humans ran for cover and safety as the Decepticons continued their attack on the intruding Autobots.

'Who are we firing at?' Thundercracker asked over the fight, squinting his eyes under the bright morning sunlight as he kept shooting anyway.

'It's the Autobots, you idiot!' Starscream replied. 'What are their names again? Oh, I can never remember. There are just so many of them.'

'I think it's Lurk or Sneaky or something…something to do with prowling…' Thundercracker said. 'And the other one's familiar too, called Hide…Hide…something Hide...ah, Hide-and-seek.' He smiled, impressed with his memory. 'Or is it Hideaway…?'

Starscream looked extremely dubious. 'Ok, whatever, I really don't care. Let's just do as much damage as we possibly can so that Megatron will be pleased.'

'I thought you don't like him,' Thundercracker said.

'That's right and I will be the leader of the Decepticons one day,' Starscream boasted. 'I'm going to sneak up on that old goat, Megatron while he's asleep and…and…'

'And what…?' Thundercracker prompted.

'I don't know! I haven't thought of it yet, okay? It's got to be the best idea I've ever had.'

'You mean like the one last week when you wanted to push Megatron off a cliff but you fell over instead when he suddenly moved away?' Thundercracker recalled.

'That wasn't an idea, you idiot. That was an impulse,' Starscream scowled.

'Oh…I see, but I don't get it,' Thundercracker shook his head.

'Never mind!' Starscream snapped. 'I didn't get it either…' Then all of a sudden, he stopped talking and lowered his weapon. 'Hey, where did the Autobots go?'

Thundercracker squinted and frowned. He couldn't see anyone out in the forest anymore. Suddenly, the whole place felt very quiet. 'Well, I'll be. They're gone.'

'Yoo-hoo! We're not gone, dumb Decepticons,' Prowl called out as he stepped out from behind a large tree and waved. 'Catch us if you can! Ha!'

'Make fun of ME, will you?' Starscream snarled and went after the enemies as Thundercracker followed closely behind.

'Aha! Got you!' Ironhide exclaimed, as he closed in on Thundercracker from behind in a strong arm-lock.

'Hey, let me go! This isn't fun anymore,' Thundercracker said.

Starscream raised his weapon to fire at Ironhide but Prowl quickly intercepted. 'Oh no, you don't!' And he punched Starscream in the face.

'Ouch! That hurts, you imbecile!' Starscream chided. 'Take that! And that!' He pelted Prowl with some small pebbles he had found.

'Is that all you've got…Ow!' Prowl cried out as a pebble hit him in the nose.

Ironhide flung Thundercracker aside and the Decepticon broke off a tree branch easily before swinging it about dangerously.

'Hey, we're here to protect the earth,' Ironhide said.

'Oh shoot,' Thundercracker said. 'What to do? What to do? Where did I take this from again? Too many trees here, I can't tell. Oh well.' And he beat Ironhide away with one swipe.

Meanwhile, behind a tree, safe from the commotion, Bumblebee watched his friends against the Decepticons. 'What can I do? I should do something…what do you think, Squirrel?'

The animal merely started to clean its face. 'Wow, you're very hygienic,' Bumblebee grinned. 'Maybe Ironhide can learn something from you. Don't worry. I'll take care of you.'

The squirrel jumped away from him and Bumblebee panicked when he saw that the small animal was running its way towards the chaos. 'Squirrel, come back!' He left his hiding place and went after it.

'Oh ho, what do we have here? A foe? More like easy prey!' Starscream said and tripped Bumblebee as he tried to run past. Quickly, the Decepticon snared him, abusing his size over the small Autobot.

'Let me go, you big bully!' Bumblebee said, struggling feebly.

'Why don't you pick on someone your own size, Starscream? Prowl said.

'Oh, what does it matter anyway? I always win,' Starscream said.

Thundercracker shook his head immediately. 'Not always…nope, remember that time last week when you-'

'Shut up, Thundercracker!' Starscream cut him off. 'Now that we have this Autobot, Megatron will be very pleased.'

'You don't want him,' Ironhide said. 'He's very small.'

'And short as well,' Prowl nodded. 'And bright yellow…'

Starscream narrowed his eyes. 'So what's your point?'

'We forgot,' Prowl and Ironhide said.

'I won't let you hurt my friends or Squirrel!' Bumblebee said.

'Who?' Starscream frowned, extremely confused.

'Argh! Get this off me!' Thundercracker yelled as a small animal scrambled up his leg.

'Squirrel!' Bumblebee smiled. 'You're okay!'

'Who cares and who the heck bothers?' Starscream said. 'Just beat it away, Thundercracker!'

'I can't, it's too fast,' Thundercracker whined as the squirrel jumped onto his shoulder. Suddenly the squirrel leapt and landed itself smack on Starscream's face.

'I can't see! I can't see!' Starscream waved his hands about helplessly and released Bumblebee.

'That's because there's a squirrel on your face, Starscream,' Thundercracker said. 'On your face, do you hear me? I said do you hear…oh I give up.'

'Don't worry, Squirrel. I'll save you!' Bumblebee promised and he fired at Starscream.

'Argh! It's something cold. I can't take it,' Starscream yelled as the squirrel leapt away. 'What's this?' He looked down to see a clear transparent liquid all over his arms.

Bumblebee fired again and more liquid splashed onto Starscream.

'It's…it's…water!' Thundercracker realized as Bumblebee now turned to him and fired. 'We're going to rust!'

'Retreat, retreat!' Starscream ordered as he transformed and roared off into the sky. Thundercracker followed quickly behind.

'Squirrel, you're okay!' Bumblebee rejoiced as the animal jumped to his arm.

'Well done, Bumblebee. You took on the Decepticons all by yourself! At least now, the power plant is safe.' Ironhide praised.

'Aw, it was nothing but thanks to my water-gun, it really helped us,' Bumblebee said.

'Where in the world did you ever get a water-gun anyway?' Prowl wondered.

'Wheeljack made it for me,' Bumblebee grinned.

'We should get going,' Ironhide said.

'Does this mean we're leaving Squirrel behind?' Bumblebee asked.

'I'm afraid so,' Prowl said. 'We can't keep a squirrel at the base.'

'But he's very good in collecting nuts,' Bumblebee offered.

'What the heck does nut collecting have to do with our mission and purpose here?' Ironhide said. 'Heck, I ought to squish ALL the nuts.'

'See? You've got a talent too,' Bumblebee nodded.

'Bumblebee, I ought to step on you,' Ironhide said and gave him a knock on his yellow head.

~END~

8


	3. Chapter 3

3. Race

~Megatron is angry with Optimus Prime and a competition to settle things was agreed~

Megatron, leader of the Deceptions, didn't know what to make of the letters he had been receiving for the past few weeks. Optimus Prime had written to him, reprimanding him for his cruel and selfish desire for world domination and how he was disrespecting the Autobots. None of this mattered to the mighty Megatron for it merely felt that Optimus was praising him.

But the final letter took the cake, as it was in there that Optimus Prime called him a cantankerous old man. Megatron crumpled up the letter with ferocity as his eyes glowed red.

'Insult ME, will he?' Megatron said.

'What's wrong, Megatron?' Starscream asked.

'Prime insulted me. He called me an old man,' Megatron clenched a hand.

'Why, that's precisely what I would…I mean, how absolutely tragic. That's just rude. Tsk, tsk, we should do something,' Starscream smiled.

'Of course we should!' Megatron said as he rose from his seat. 'Oh…my aching back…anyway what was I saying? Oh yes, I propose a challenge, a composition between the Autobots and us.'

'You mean competition,'

'That's what I said,' Megatron snapped. 'And if the Autobots lose, _I_ shall call Prime an old cantankerous fool. How's that for diabolical? Hehehahaha.'

'But, but what if the Autobots win?' Starscream asked.

'Shut up. Stop asking stupid questions, Starscream. Get some paper and write down whatever I say.'

Later, at the Autobots base, Optimus Prime was mulling over a letter that Megatron had sent him.

'What's the matter, Optimus?' Cliffjumper wondered when he saw the leader of the Autobots was looking extremely thoughtful.

'Hmm, Megatron is proposing a competition between us and his Decepticons,' Optimus said.

'All right, let's go!' Cliffjumper flexed his arms.

'I'm coming too!' Bumblebee said. 'So where are we going?'

Ratchet cleared his throat deliberately. 'I think, the immediate question is why this proposal all of a sudden and what kind of a competition is it?'

Cliffjumper looked a little less excited now. 'Oh okay, that makes sense.'

'So, what's going on, Optimus?' Prowl asked.

'Megatron is demanding a race against us,' Optimus said. 'His Decepticons will compete with us and when they win…'quote' I will get to call you an old man, Prime!' 'unquote'.'

'Heck, if he wants to call you an old man, he doesn't need a race for that,' Ironhide said. 'Ratchet calls you an old man all the time,'

'Megatron's up to something,' Prowl rubbed his chin. 'He never learns. I think his helmet is too small for his head anyway. It's probably crushing his brain and preventing him from thinking properly.'

'Yeah, he really doesn't use his brains a lot,' Ironhide agreed. 'No wait, that's Starscream.'

'So what do you decide, Optimus?' Ratchet wondered. 'What has Megatron suggested?'

Optimus Prime looked at the letter again. 'A race: four of us against four of them.'

'Hm, I smell a rat,' Prowl said.

'Really? What's it like?' Bumblebee wondered.

'No, Bumblebee, it's an expression used by earth people to mean something suspicious.'

'Oh ok,' Bumblebee said, 'You're a good teacher, Prowl,'

'I'm writing back to Megatron,' Optimus Prime said. 'We'll agree to this race provided that it's by foot so they can't cheat us by flying,'

'That's a good one, Prime,' Ironhide agreed.

'Then I'll need a bigger room,' Ratchet said.

'How come?' Prowl asked.

'Because…with you lot joining the race, I'll be busy repairing you when you get back. When it's anything with the Decepticons, it's bound to get rough,' Ratchet said as he crossed the arms. 'Now that reminds me, I ought to get my tools organized.'

'Hm, you know what,' Bumblebee said. 'I smell a rat.'

'No, Bumblebee, it's not like that,' Prowl told him.

'Okay, but I'm telling you, I smell something, I just don't know what it is,' Bumblebee smiled and gave a Prowl a thumbs up who sighed.

A few days later, a most fascinating sight could be seen in a great forest, as both Autobots and Decepticons gathered for the big race.

Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave and Thundercracker represented their faction while Optimus Prime, Ironhide, Bumblebee and Cliffjumper represented theirs.

'You go, Optimus!' Prowl cheered from the sideline.

'Shut up, Autobot,' Starscream said, waving a fist.

'Don't waste your energy, Starscream,' Megatron chided. 'You'll need it for the race.'

'Are we racing yet?' Bumblebee wondered.

'No, not yet…and what's that thing around your neck?' Ironhide pointed.

'It's a chain of four leaf clovers,' Bumblebee beamed. 'Prowl said humans use it for good luck.'

'You look mighty ridiculous with that,' Ironhide grunted.

'Hey, don't insult the four leaf clovers,' Bumblebee said.

'Actually, I was insulting you…'

'Oh, ok, no wonder I smell a rat,' Bumblebee said.

'This isn't fair, Megatron,' Prowl suddenly said. 'You've got more than four Decepticons on your side.'

'What are you talking about, you fool?' Megatron asked.

'Heh, heh, the mighty Autobot tactician can't count,' Thundercracker teased.

'Stand down, Thundercracker and don't make a fool of yourself which you so often do,' Megatron said.

'I mean, Soundwave carries a few Decepticons in him,' Prowl reasoned. 'His minions are always with him so he doesn't exactly count as one Decepticon.'

'What? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard,' Starscream said.

'Well, I'll be. I didn't think of that,' Cliffjumper said.

'Autobots…afraid,' Soundwave said. 'Decepticons will triumph.'

'It's ok,' Optimus said. 'We'll let it go.'

Prowl started to protest. 'But-'

'We'll let it go provided that Soundwave competes fairly and keeps his minions out of the race,' Optimus Prime said. 'If he were to use any one of them, the Decepticons would be disqualified immediately and the Autobots will take the victory. How about that, Megatron?'

Megatron narrowed his eyes. 'Very well, it shall be so. What does it matter anyway? I will win.'

'You mean us, we will win,' Starscream corrected.

Megatron's eyes glowed red. 'No, Starscream.'

'Yee! He's scary,' Thundercracker grabbed Soundwave's arm.

'All right,' Skywarp said as he started to read from a piece of paper. 'The race will commence soon. All Transformers are to follow those red flags that are so thoughtfully placed by a few boy scouts we threatened last week. The red flags mark the route of the race as agreed upon by both sides. To be fair, no Autobot or Decepticon participating in this race are allowed to transform and there will be no hitting, fighting, brawling, beating or whacking, Hey, who wrote this anyway? It's full of spelling mistakes. I mean…uh…so enjoy the race and be happy…Man, I hate my job.'

'Everyone in position, please!' Prowl announced.

'That's Prowl. He's my friend,' Bumblebee said to Starscream who was getting ready beside him.

Starscream sighed. 'Ask me again if I care, you bumbling bee. Go on, just ask me.'

'On your mark,' Prowl raised the green flag in his hand. 'GO!'

The race was on as Autobots and Decepticons took off. For once, Prowl and Skywarp decided to cooperate. They brought out foldable chairs and sat down to relax with their binoculars.

'Well, there they go, What a bunch of buffoons,' Skywarp shook his head.

'Yeah, and now they've got the Autobots against them,' Prowl said.

The competition through the forest was very engaging as the Autobots aimed to win the race, and the Decepticons devising various ways of deception in their own evil minds.

'Wow, Cliffjumper, look at you go!' Bumblebee cheered his fellow team-mate on as the small, feisty red Autobot was in the lead.

'Watch me beat the Decepti-creeps, Bumblebee!' Cliffjumper threw a spontaneous thumbs-up as he ran ahead.

'Did somebody just call us creeps?' Starscream scowled as he lagged behind Ironhide.

'You do have the face of one, Starscream,' Megatron couldn't resist a dig at his second-in-command.

Thundercracker looked suddenly thoughtful. 'I believed the Autobot said 'creeps', Mighty Megatron. He didn't use the singular noun. Therefore, it would mean that you are also a creep.'

'Shut up, Thundercracker, before I pummel you flat,' Megatron growled.

'Come on, we can win this!' Ironhide tried to encourage his team-mates as Bumblebee and Optimus Prime were taken over by Soundwave and Starscream.

They followed the red flags and came to a part of the forest with a running brook.

'Hey, this is nice!' Bumblebee said cheerfully.

'This is no time for sightseeing!' Ironhide said, turning his head back to motion the small Autobot forward.

'What's the matter, Prime?' Megatron sneered as the leader of the Autobots was slowing down. 'You're already tired?'

'No, Megatron, I'm just pacing myself,' Prime said in a wise tone.

'Face it, Prime. You're getting too old for this.'

'If you think it'll only be too soon when you'll call me old, think again, Megatron.'

Thundercracker nodded. 'I do believe both of you are old. I think the real question is who's _older._'

'Sometimes, I think it's my destiny to incinerate you into a pile of worthless dust, Thundercracker.' Megatron's eyes glowed red again dangerously.

'I'm winning! I'm winning!' Starscream was making a ton of noise as he was up ahead now, just a few metres behind Cliffjumper. 'I'm ahead of you, Lord Megatron. I'm supreme!'

'He's nuts,' Ironhide said.

'Come on, four leaf clovers, we can do this,' Bumblebee started to pick up his speed.

'You're nuts too,' Ironhide said as the small yellow Autobot caught up to him. 'What are you doing talking to the four leaf clovers?'

'They're my friends,' Bumblebee beamed. 'I've even given them names.'

'I wish someone would beat me unconscious,' Ironhide muttered.

After the brook, Cliffjumper was still way ahead of the pack. The Autobot was determined to win the race for himself and the Autobots. Starscream was in the second place, followed by Soundwave who was just a short distance in front of Ironhide and Bumblebee.

Suddenly Ironhide gave a cry. He had been struck by a branch, which threw him back, causing him to hit a rock.

'Ironhide!' Bumblebee was at once, concerned for his friend.

'Come on, Bumblebee,' Optimus Prime hustled the yellow Autobot, gathering him along to keep his place in the race. 'We can't stop now.'

'Did you see that? Something hit Ironhide,' Bumblebee said.

'It's called a tree, you foolish Autobot,' Megatron replied. 'It's one of the most pathetic life-forms here on Earth, after you.'

'Then where do you stand?' Bumblebee wondered.

'I'm all-mighty, I stand at the top!'

'Then how come you're behind Starscream right now?' Bumblebee asked.

As the situation dawned on him, Megatron growled at the sight of his downright annoying second-in-command acting with great vanity in front of him. 'I'm going to get you for this, Starscream. No one upstages _me_!'

As he spoke, Megatron quickened his pace. Bumblebee watched in awe as the large robot moved ahead. Optimus Prime's performance was quite commendable too as his long legs carried him well, earning him a place beside Megatron now and Bumblebee found himself in last place alongside Thundercracker.

'You know, I'm not really a runner. I'm a flyer,' Thundercracker complained.

'Then why did you join the race?' Bumblebee was curious.

'It's my ego. I can't stand being left out,' Thundercracker paused shortly as he glanced over at the Autobot. 'Hey, isn't there something different about you?'

Bumblebee cocked his head as he kept his pace with Thundercracker. 'Is it my hair?'

'You don't have hair,' Thundercracker exclaimed.

'Oh no. Where did it all go?' Bumblebee touched his head innocently.

'You _never_ had hair, you bumbling idiot.'

But before Bumblebee could say anymore, a large boulder rolled down the side of a slope and pinned him.

'Ahhh…!' he cried.

'Bumblebee, are you all right?' Optimus Prime called back, upon seeing his friend in trouble.

'Go on, Optimus. I'll be fine,' Bumblebee reassured as he tried to move the boulder

A nagging sense of suspicion started to prick at Optimus Prime. Two of his Autobots were down, leaving only the other two Autobots, including himself, to complete with the Decepticons. He looked over at Megatron; the Decepticon leader was smiling.

'What are you up to, Megatron?' he asked, not trusting him one bit.

'Whatever are you babbling about, Prime?' Megatron sneered. 'Your brains must be fried by the sun. You're not making any sense.'

'Don't worry, Optimus!' Cliffjumper shouted from in front of the pack. He ran up a rough track that was marked by a red flag. 'I'm going to win for all of us.'

'Says who?' Starscream cut in. 'I'm going to win!'

'Victory will be mine, Starscream,' Megatron demanded. 'Fall back now. You have no right to be in front of me, you imbecile.'

'Ha! It's not my fault you're an _old man_, Megatron.'

Megatron's eyes suddenly flashed red as cold realization hit him. '_You!_' he thundered. 'You wrote that letter, Starscream.'

The Seeker smiled cunningly. 'That's right, Mighty Megatron,' he said in a sarcastic tone. 'That was simply one of my many diabolical plans to get you out of the way so that I can be the true leader of the Decepticons.'

'If I don't blast you into a million pieces, Starscream, my name isn't Megatron.' The enraged Decepticon leader raised his fusion canon and fired at his second-in-command.

'Megatron!' Optimus Prime protested.

'Race is off, Prime. I never thought I would say this, but you're not the one I am going after this time,' Megatron rasped. 'Soundwave, call off your minions.'

Soundwave stopped running and obeyed his leader. 'Ravage, Laserbeak, return,' he commanded in his monotone voice as a cat- and bird-like robot appeared from behind the trees and folded themselves into Soundwave's chest.

'What the-' Cliffjumper halted and turned around, pointing an accusing finger. 'You were cheating, Megatron. You had this planned all along, didn't you?'

'You've made a good point for once in your miserable life, Autobot,' Megatron said. 'I've asked Soundwave to set his minions up way before the race started. Our plan was simple – to squash you and your fellow team mates one by one with secret ambushes so that the Decepticons will triumph.'

'Decepti-creeps!' Cliffjumper was furious and he lunged at Starscream, who tried to fight him off.

'Now look what you've done, Megatron, you old fool!' Starscream cursed. 'You've ruined everything!'

'I'll show you what 'ruin' means, Starscream, when I get my hands on you,' Megatron promised as he started firing his fusion canon again. The blast missed Starscream as he moved away from harm, dragging Cliffjumper with him. But he barely had time to react when Optimus Prime dealt a strong blow to his face and he had to release Cliffjumper.

'Come on, Cliffjumper,' Optimus Prime picked up his fellow Autobot quickly. 'We're leaving. We're going back for Ironhide and Bumblebee.'

'But I'm all ready to beat up some Decepticons,' Cliffjumper said, suddenly doing sit-ups on the ground. He stopped when he heard Starscream crying out and saw that Megatron had caught him at last.

'Well, it was fun, while it lasted,' Cliffjumper said woefully and shrugged. 'Do you think we'll get to see Starscream again?' he asked as Megatron lifted the Seeker above his head and threw him down the cliff before laughing out loud with gusto.

'Well, I wouldn't miss him,' Optimus Prime said and smiled.

~END~


End file.
